By Lee Reinsch
Correspondent
DE PERE — After the happy cacophony of the holidays recedes into the background and our thoughts catch up to us, we may come to the realization that something back home didn’t feel quite right.
Maybe we noticed our parents seemed a little off. Or if they didn’t seem off, then something about them or their environment did.
“Maybe you noticed bills piling up or going to collections, or the house not quite as kept up as it used to be,” said Dr. David Ferguson, managing director of IKOR, 435 N. Broadway, a life care management firm for seniors and persons with disabilities. “Someone who used to be organized starts to let things slip, or the level of organization may start to fall. You notice that things aren’t like they used to be.”
Maybe they bought cookies this year instead of making their famous frosted homemade assortment, or they didn’t give as many Christmas gifts as they did in the past because getting out to shop is harder than it was.
Maybe they didn’t seem as enthused about seeing family members, because they’re in pain.
These are clues that it may be time to start getting involved.
That’s where IKOR comes in.
IKOR helps people and families navigate some of the challenges that come about with aging, chronic illness, and disability, Ferguson said.
It’s no secret that the healthcare system is complicated and has many moving parts and elements.
“It’s really gotten complicated, pulling in the attorney, financial planner, someone to help with Medicaid or Medicare planning,” Ferguson, a retired pathologist, said.
Someone with poor eyesight and limited or no computer ability may have a hard time finding help for themselves even on the best of days. Or they may not want to face that they need help with some basic tasks.
“Oftentimes when the kid has to fly off, it’s difficult because you’re not sure who’s there, or where to find resources or support to make sure things are taken care of,” Ferguson said.
So what’s a good offspring to do?
Part of it is just asking questions, said Ferguson.
“Having them tell a little bit more about what’s going on, and looking for openings or opportunities to find some assistance for them, or find ways to help with driving, or grocery shopping,” he said. “That’s really where we can help people get better outcomes, have a better understanding of what’s going on and make sure they get what they need from the system,” he said.
But just asking questions isn’t as simple as it sounds.
Adult children may not want to invade a parent’s privacy or embarrass them. They might not want to admit to themselves that mom is no longer able to bustle around ruling the roost, and dad is no longer the Superman of their childhood. A parent may not want to burden their child.
“As we get older, it gets increasingly difficult to manage some things,” Ferguson said.
IKOR doesn’t provide services like a homecare firm might, but finds professionals in a variety of areas to address the moving parts.
“One of the advantages of hiring out is that we can talk to the physician at an evaluation to make sure all of the physicians and specialists are talking with each other, and hopefully be the hub, for an individual who is struggling, to pull in all the resources they need in one place,” he said.
Most people want to stay independent and don’t want others knowing they might be having difficulties. It can be touchy.
“But there’s a way to try and find out if we can provide assistance here and there,” Ferguson said.
He said IKOR can help manage and coordinate services that people need to stay in their homes, if that’s their goal, but if home is no longer safe, IKOR can help them find an alternative living arrangement.
As a neutral party – he’s neither the parent nor the child – Ferguson said often he can get to the truth. Nobody has to put on an act for him.
“Since I’m an independent, objective person, it’s a little bit easier to talk about it,” he said.